My life is to make everything around me beautiful.

Tuesday, September 3, 2013

Counseling

Reminder about Pinterest:
There are over 11,200 photos in my Pinterest with over 8,600 followers so you know how gorgeous the images must be. Simply "eye candy" for you to see. If you want, hop on over to view them and become a follower if you like. It's entirely your choice of course, but I love seeing others enjoy them. I can put them on Pinterest much faster than showing them here.
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I had a woman one time as a counselor. It was through our Church and I was getting severely depressed as the result of a woman in our ward who just about drove me over the edge. She stalked me. Let me explain something first.

I was a really happy person and always have been. I almost always had a smile on my face. But as a lot of parents with teenagers, we sought out counseling with a man up in the Berkeley hills not far from us in California. He was fantastic and got us through the teenage years. We or the kids were in counseling about 3-4 times a week. It absolutely helped me enormously. I learned to cope and got a new perspective on dealing with issues and it definitely helped my kids. Hubby was my "balance" for all this.

Then we moved to Idaho in the early 90s and joined the LDS Church.

A woman who lived in our very small town drove me nuts. She always thought I was "something special" because of what I did in California. Truly, I wasn't and didn't act as though I was "something special."

It came to a head several years later and I told her to leave me alone. She was always wanting to be around me as she was a simple farm girl from Idaho and always wanted to be a "powerful" woman. That's enough of that though, so just let me say that she stalked me. And I once said to hubby and a few friends something I'll never say again: I don't understand how some people can/can't _____ fill in the blank here. I was then given that "trial" so to speak. I never, ever say those words in connection to anyone again because I can be assured of getting that "trial" and walking in their shoes. While it strengthens us, it isn't a pleasant experience.

Fast forward several years after being in Idaho. The woman in that ward drove me over the edge to seeking counseling again. I had a wonderful woman counselor in Boise and after a while we became friends. She then told me she couldn't act effectively in both. So I had to choose. I thought I was much better at handling things then and chose to become friends instead of having her counseling me. That worked out well. But I appreciate her honesty and her friendship. When we moved from that small town here in Idaho to a bigger one we lost touch, but I've thought of her over the years now and then and truly valued the honesty and friendship we had. I believe strongly in counseling for balance in life. She helped me learn much about myself and I've never, ever been embarrassed to tell others how much counseling has helped in my life and marriage. Plus I now try to put myself in other people's circumstances and try my best not to judge them. This isn't easy sometimes, but I don't want the trial of something I say about how I can't understand. I made the terrible mistake of saying, "I don't understand how women can be beaten down emotionally by a man and not get out of the horrible relationship." I understand it now. Trust me on this one. I never thought I—as a very strong, confident, happy women—could be beaten down by someone. I now understand a bit better how women can be subjugated by a man, only in my case it was a woman. I now have nothing to do with her. It's my choice and it's sad because I  actually did love her as a child of God. I'll sometimes think of her and the love God showed me to her.

Once I did service for her one day by going over to her house and sanding cupboards on saw horses in her garage in the dead of summer once to humble myself to her. I was dripping sweat and her hubby came out to see what was going on as their garage door was open and I simply arrived and started sanding the cupboard doors. He offered me a drink of water and I almost cried from that Christ-like attitude of his. I consider that one of the nicest things anyone had ever done: offer me a glass of water when I was absolutely parched in that 100° weather that day. I did all I could and left with a great appreciation for her but I still didn't want to be her "friend" because I knew it would cause me greater stress. She tried but I knew my limitations. I don't know much about her life now and I chose not to know. But this week got me to thinking back on this issue and I almost said to hubby the other day: I don't understand how.... and then shut my mouth to the rest of the thought. I'm not that stupid now! ;-)
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One of the most beautiful dining rooms I've ever seen.


A cheery vase of roses and peonies.


I could do without the vines on the top but otherwise I love the chandelier and dining room table and chairs.


This is a custom sink. I've seen some really gorgeous ones lately and will be showing more of what's available besides the standard white ones 99% of homeowners have in their baths and kitchens.


A lovely store in another country. Just makes you want to drop right in and shop around. Love the tin buckets they display.


This is a room designed by Charles Faudree, one of my favorite designers.


Lovely linens. See, you can have unique and easy-to-make cases for your pillows.


With the temperature here in Southern California in the high 90s today, I'm thinking this would be a wonderful drink to have. I'm fixing fettucine alfredo for my son's family tonight. He's cooking some rib-eye steaks to go along with it.


I love this room!! I could live in it. Love the furniture, lamps, rugs and the pillows.


You can tell immediately this is Greece with its white walls and gorgeous blue colors.


Another gorgeous vase of roses.


Little eggs handmade with some gorgeous fabrics and papers by some creative homeowner.


A gorgeous wreath made entirely of roses.


A cute vignette of pretty bottles filled with lotions and surrounded with orchids.


A cute little jar filled with pink marshmallows and a pretty jewel on the front.
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4 comments:

  1. Sounds like counseling has helped you more than once. I too believe another person looking at what is going on in your life is helpful. I just have one question. Why did you not take an ice chest with cold drinks with you to do the work?

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  2. I love the old Indian prayer "Grant that I may not criticize my neighbor until I have walked a mile in his moccasins". Counseling is a wonderful tool that I have used for my myself and my family. Following your wonderful Pinterest pins!

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  3. I understand your attempt to be vague about this situation, but I have not one clue what you were talking about!

    Pretty pictures, though, as always!

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  4. I have experienced my share of those lessons, too, which taught me to guard my thoughts as well as my speech. I appreciate your blog; my spirit is always uplifted when I visit.

    Agape always,
    Cynthia

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Comments are so nice and I thank all of you that leave one for me.